cat-pun:

smorch

(Source: kiwi, via thursday)

scorpiogy:

neverrrr let your loneliness drive you back to toxic people 

(via dollykills)

shadowraiku:

lochnessmonsterofficial:

lochnessmonsterofficial:

Trying to communicate with my future morning self is like setting an elaborate trap for an unsuspecting zombie like

if I put my phone alarm on full volume and vibrate and move the charger so I can put it on this out-of-reach metal surface, I can startle her awake. Probably. Then if I securely duct tape this caffeinated chocolate bar to it, it will provide a challenging situation and make her mushy little brain work extra hard to figure out how to turn the alarm off. Then she might go for the chocolate while she’s turning off the loud noises. With luck, she’ll consume the whole thing. 20 minutes of bliss then boom, physiology kicks in and the caffeine reaches her brain. Gentlemen, this just might work.

It didn’t work.

A tragedy in two acts

(via odinsnotwearingmakeup)

staff:

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

(via circeswife)

suditalia:

grocery store: *plays some funky 80s song*

my poor mother: please dont

me, immediately dancing in the middle of the aisle:

Originally posted by mrthisbody

(Source: 218oclock, via rockarollawoman)

nadanzum:

be hot and wild but do good in school and achieve ya feel

(Source: lilmartinimami, via ugly)

discoursethot:

discoursethot:

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid

(Source: kpoptosis, via circeswife)